Friday, March 24, 2006

Dedicated to the new mom... six weeks....

I just finished talking to a friend of mine who just had her first baby (3 weeks ago) after 8 years of trying. EIGHT YEARS!! Unbelievable- and so YAY! I was a bridesmaid at her wedding- the maid of honor if I remember correctly (my memory is shot after giving birth four times). So we've been friends a long time (that was the point of that).

She called because she's exhausted, sore, stinky, unshowered ect. So basically a new mom. She was also calling to check on me since her mother died a few years ago and she knows how I'm feeling. Luckily I've done the kid thing a few times and I know how she's feeling as well.

It gets better. It really does. There is something magical about the six week mark- that point when you go to bed on week 5 day 7 and wake up on week 6 day 1 and you feel human. Maybe it's that you've figured out breastfeeding and so has your baby. Or maybe it's that he doesn't feel like he needs to eat every five seconds. Maybe it's that the swing finally works to soothe the baby or that you get to shower at least once every three days since you are no longer afraid of falling asleep in there and drowning because of the sleep deprivation. Maybe ir's the 4.5 hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep.... It does get better though. I promise. If if didn't I wouldn't have four kids. (I can't believe I have four kids!)

There is no 'cheating' at parenting. You do your best to do what you need to do. If your kid is fed, clean and safe then you're doing your job- especially in those first couple weeks. Don't worry- you have years and years ahead of guilt inducing 'what can I do better' so don't do that now. Just function. Really. If that means that your kid gets a bottle (of breastmilk or formula) while you get 4 hours of continuous sleep one night then good- so not 'cheating'. Don't let anyone tell you that. Asking for help isn't cheating- it's smart parenting!

Most things can slide. Seriously. If it absolutely can't slide then ask for someone else to do it. It's hard. Really, really hard. But it's so worth it. For some strange reason it's easier the second time around. Although right now you're probably trying hard not to think of their ever being a second time hopefully there will be and I promise- it will be easier.

So just keep chanting "six weeks, six weeks, six weeks".

Any of you have advice for a new mom? (I'm sure you do)

I'm having a bad week.

With several things that are going on- the biggest being my Dad's death I'm having a rough time dealing with reality. My friend Lee made my day when yesterday a package arrived for me. It contained the following:
Father and daugher statue

Thank-you Lee for your thoughtfulness and kindness. It's much appreciated and feeling undeserved today.


For those of you who are waiting for me to say something here I'm not going to. If you need to discuss with me then please email me at: amberlicious(at)gmail (dot) com

There are many more people who read my blog then those of you who are angry.

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