Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Heavy Things

I'm feeling like I'm a depressing blogger right now. I can't really think of much to blog about but the obvious. I feel like I'm just sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't focus on much of anything. I was thinking about this today- I feel like I did the last month of my pregnancy with Corinne. Waiting, knowing that she would be coming soon- but not sure when. It's the same waiting for the inevitable with my Dad. We all know he's going to die, and we're hoping that it's sooner then later (and those are his wishes as well) but we don't know when that's going to happen. It could be in an hour- it could be in a week or a month even. Sort of like labor when it does finally happen I've never felt 'ready'. I always thought I was, I'd spent months preparing- but then all of a sudden there was no looking back and I wanted to change my mind (and couldn't). I feel the same now. I've been expecting this for a while now- but now that it's upon us I'm not ready- although I don't know how I'll ever be.

9 comments:

Sunny said...

They are very similar ... both are the end and the begining. I'm sorry, I know this time is tough. (((HUGS)))

Sunny said...

Just to clarify ... birth and death are equally a beginning and an end. It's hard to let go, but knowing it's the beginning of something else helps a little. I don't know if that made since this time. (((HUGS)))

Alissa said...

(((HUGS)))... girl, you know you're constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I know that there's no way you can be fully prepared, but take peace in knowing that your dad feels that HE is prepared. That's gotta mean something good, right?

emlouisa said...

Ditto Alissa's comment. So true.

(((hugs)))

Lee said...

((hugs)) I am so very sorry Amber. That has to be so hard to deal with. You are in my prayers.

Steph said...

Alissa said it perfectly.

(((((HUGS)))))

bon said...

The wait.
I'm sorry.
But at least you know what you know, y'know?

happy thoughts and butterflys coming your way.

Rachelle said...

Hugs to you! You and your family are in my prayers.

Sugarmama said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It IS hard to wait, knowing that the end is coming. And it likely will be a shock when it happens, even knowing it's coming soon. My husband's father died recently and we felt the same way. He'd been sick for awhile, but it just seemed so out of the blue and hard to wrap your head around. Take care of yourself! I'm so sorry.